You might be under the impression that the typical birth mother who places her child for adoption is a teenager dealing with her first pregnancy. Actually, reports Adoption.com, birth mothers tend to be between the ages of 17 and 30. Many are in long-term relationships and might even be raising children already. If you are unexpectedly pregnant and you are already raising one or more children, you might wonder whether adoption is the right option for you. Here are some considerations to keep in mind as you make your decision.
Reassure Your Children
If you have a baby or a toddler and you have decided to place his or her younger sibling for adoption, you will probably not have to explain anything at all, if you choose not to. If your child is older, however, he or she will certainly notice that you are expecting a baby. It's best to talk to your child about the upcoming birth, as well as the plan to place the baby for adoption.
Assure your child that your decision to place the baby for adoption does not mean that you plan on placing your older child with another family. Talk about some of the reasons why you have decided on adoption in an age-appropriate manner. Your preschooler just wants to know that he or she is loved and safe, while a teenager will have more in-depth questions and concerns.
Consider Open Adoption to Maintain the Relationship Between Siblings
Many biological mothers choose to pursue an open adoption. This allows you to stay in contact with the adoptive family. You might send letters and gifts to the child. In some cases, you might even be able to arrange visits. If you live nearby, you may end up being a part of the child's life.
Encourage your child or children to send drawings or letters, and to participate in visits if they want to. While the biological sibling won't be raised as a brother or sister, they can be friends during childhood and may decide to have a sibling-like relationship as they grow into adulthood. Don't put pressure on either child, however; in some cases, they may remain friendly acquaintances at best.
Let Your Child Meet the Baby
If your child wants to, let him or her meet the new baby. Even if you have a toddler who will not remember this precious time later, photos can become a treasured possession later. You will also enjoy the memories of seeing your little one kiss the baby. Older children may want to give the baby a bottle or rock him or her to sleep. Your child can also meet the adoptive parents at this time, if you have decided that this will be part of your adoption plan.
Placing a baby for adoption is often a heart wrenching and emotional decision. Keep the lines of communication open with your children to help them understand why this was the best decision for your family.
To learn more, visit a website like http://www.achildsdream.org.
Share4 November 2015
When my children started struggling in school, I knew that I had to do something to help them. I talked with them, but it didn't seem to help at all. Fortunately, a friend of mine recommended a great family therapist who specialized in relationships and family. We met with her as a family, and it was amazing to hear everything that my kids had to say. I started learning more and more about different things my children felt, and it really helped me to shape my parenting style. This blog is all about building stronger relationships with your kids so that you can have a happy, functional family.
